Men,Playtime Is Over!

Some of you only know me through this blog. Some of you know me through facebook or other various social networks.Some of you who have known me for years didn't know me as Mod Lumpkin,the blogger,writer and future best selling author.You only knew me as Moderick or "Mod-Dog",that's for the people that REALLY knew me.For those of you who didn't know the "Mod Dog",trust me......you don't know and you don't want to know. The latter person is someone who lived a lifestyle unworthy of being called a man. Yes,I was PHYSICALLY a man,but everything else about me was that of a boy. A couple of years ago,I began to go through a transformation. It started with a spiritual transformation,but the spiritual transformation meant nothing until I was able to transform my mind. Once I began to transform my mind,I began to understand that it was time to live a better life than the person I was for the first 37 years of my life. It was time to live a better life as a father. It was time to live better as a son,brother and friend. But more importantly,it was time to live a better life as a MAN.

Like many men,I spent the majority of my life chasing after a lifestyle. I wanted to be and WAS the life of the party. I was very popular.I had a lot of friends and a LOT of women "friends". But I also lost a lot of friends and ran a lot of women away. I was a player,a liar,a cheater,I was everything you hear "some" single black women complain about why they can't find a "good" black man today. Yes,I plead guilty as charged to every last thing I just said and then some. When I lived that life,I lived for the moment. But after that moment,I would experience a let down.Similiar to how a drug addict feels when he comes off a high. But I didn't get high,my drug of choice were women(and Bud Lights)oh and Crown Royal with a splash of coke(just enough to change the color).After coming off THAT high,the next night I would try to get higher by drinking more and "partying" with more women. But even after THAT high,I always felt like there was something else I was suppose to be doing,another way I was suppose to be living. And indeed there was.But I didn't get the revelation until I COMPLETELY transformed my mind and realized who I was and what I had been placed on this earth to do. After that happened,I began to see things in a different light. I began to try and live my life a certain way. It's still a struggle daily,but what I learned is when you start trying to live your life a different way,people who aren't on the same page with you will close the book on your friendship. People you have known for years won't be able to understand why the jokes they used to tell aren't funny anymore. The places you used to go don't interest you anymore.The women you used to date and sleep with don't "excite" you anymore. All of those things change,which brings me to the purpose of this blog.
Last Sunday,I had a conversation at church with this guy who has a beautiful wife and beautiful little baby. When I asked how things were going with him,he stated he was only in church to keep the peace at home and he was trying to "catch fire".(That's Birmingham talk for trying to "hit" as many women as possible.) First of all,if you attend MY church and your only purpose for coming every Sunday is to keep the peace at home,we need to talk anyway. So,me being ME responded by saying.........well nevermind I won't tell you what I said. But let's just say he didn't speak to me yesterday at church(like I care). But he is like so many other guys that I know......trying to "catch fire".

Fellas,what in the world are we doing?
Why are we STILL trying to "catch fire" like we're in our early 20s? Please don't misunderstand me,I'm not talking about ALL brothas. But I'm talking about the men who are still trying to do the same thing today,as they were doing 10 years ago,5 years ago,and last year.
Fellas,we are in a position to have any kind of woman we want.If we want a professional sister making six figures,we can have her. If we want the sister working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet,we can have her. We are in this position because the numbers are in our favor. But let me tell you something straight up.If you want to date these women out here now,you better be on point. You may not have it all together right now at this very moment,but you better have a plan that you're working on. And if you're trying to attract WIFEY material and not a "girlfriend" you better have it written down,mapped up and able to sell her on the fact that it WILL manifest,SOON! Because many of these women have dealt with too many guys who are like the boy I used to be and they are fed up. Are some of their standards too high,maybe.But I believe it's only because we've lowered ours. We will pass up a good woman for the first sister with a big butt and a pretty smile.......REAL TALK!
We will tolerate a pretty woman with low self esteem because she "looks" good. But we will walk away from the sister who cook for us,pray for us and gives us her undivided attention in EVERY way.
WHY?
Because we think the next Halle Berry is going to walk in the club and tell us she wants to take us home with her. Have you noticed that Halle Berry can't keep a man but Indie Arie can't get rid of hers if she tried?(let that marinate).
Fellas,it's timeout for the "games". It's time we get serious about who we are and what our PURPOSE is in life. If we don't,we will be the ones complaining about "white and latino men are taking all of our black women away from us". More power to my white and latino brothas because most of us don't realize what we have until she's gone and has dropped about 20lbs. And let me tell you what I KNOW and not what I HEARD! I KNOW that once you find out who you are and what your purpose is in life,the sky is literally the limit. You can sit down and write out everything you want in a woman and your SPIRIT will attract her to you. Then you can ask HER, "What is YOUR purpose? What is YOUR plan to manifest that purpose?" If she doesn't know her purpose,as her man,it is your obligation to help her realize her purpose. If she doesn't have a plan,as her man it is your obligation to help her with her plan. But in order to do that,we first have to make sure we create an atmosphere to attract the right type of woman. And not just a PHYSICAL atmosphere but a SPIRITUAL atmosphere. Once we do THAT,the sky is the limit. But,first we have to stop playing the games because playtime is over.

*DISCLAIMER*
I know some brothas won't like this blog. But if you have a problem with anything I wrote,9 times out of 10,you're still a boy trying to "catch fire".


My book,"Man Inside The Boy" is STILL Under Construction.